Love Hurts
by simpleprod
Summary: Love hurts. Especially when you happen to be Alfred Jones or Arthur Kirkland. Can they ever get around all these buried issues or will they run from the pain and each other? USUK; Rated T just to be safe; Human names used
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Hetalia isn't mine. Never has been, nor will it ever be.

* * *

><p><strong>Love Hurts<strong>

"He's hurting me."

He hadn't meant to bring it up, but it was too late now. For so long he had hidden it, hidden it all away. But now it had simply popped out. Like those three words weren't what was currently ruining his entire life. Like he hadn't sworn to himself that relationship issues would never leave the house. Or at least, not his.

Alfred had always been to tactless to hide away his issues. And knowing Al as well as he did, he probably didn't want to hide them anyways.

Francis looked rather shocked. "Alfred? I never pictured him as the abusing type. What with the hero complex and all."

"Not physically, god that would be so much easier." He gave a small laugh as his host got up to get more wine for himself.

"Then would you care to explain what you mean?"

"It's my fault really, I made him lose his temper. At first it was just another talk between us. But when he was telling me he felt that I wasn't open enough with him about my feelings I started yelling. I told him everything, or at least I tried to. I mean, you yourself have known me long enough to know I'm not the best when it comes to being honest with my emotions. But Alfred… he coaxed me into letting myself face them head on. And he still thinks I'm keeping them locked up?" His small laugh got a little louder and desperate. It was either laugh or cry. And he had slipped up once by opening up with Francis, he wouldn't mess up a second time.

"That was too much for him though. He called me a liar and left. He just got up and walked out the door. And after that it was too awkward for me, so I just played the silence game. Which was stupid because everyone knows Al can't handle that. So now… now he's leaving me."

"He told you that?" Francis not only knew Arthur long enough to know very well just how badly he lied to himself about his feelings but also how he took things that did hurt, yes, but he held them closer to his heart and allowed them to damage him more then they should.

"No but I can feel it. He says he's just mad and 'needs time to think'. Everybody who's ever been in love before can tell you that that's not a good sign."

That was true, and Francis knew he couldn't lie to Arthur and tell him it wasn't.

"Nobody's ever loved me better then him, Francis. What am I going to do if he leaves me? God it hurts so much just thinking about it…"

"Maybe you should tell him that then. Maybe you should try explaining that you can't have him leave you. That it would hurt you. He's a good kid, I'm sure he won't leave if you just tell him what you told me."

"I can't. 'Please love me! Please need me! I can't be without you Alfred!' That's what it will end up like. It will just be me crying and begging him, and he'll get scared. He might get too scared, he might reject me. And I can't take that. The only thing besides my physical body that hasn't been hurt is my pride. Do you want that to succumb to the pain as well?"

It was with that awkward question that their 'small chat' came to an end and Arthur left.

* * *

><p>AN: It all started with a song... and then another song... and next thing I knew there was this story that you see here. And it's multi-chapter! *gasps*

The next chapter is from Alfred's POV and shall be uploaded tomorrow (it's pre-written and since there are SO many chapters I don't see the harm in close update times).


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **Still don't own Hetalia.

* * *

><p>Alfred finally dragged himself out of the bar.<p>

He was scared. He needed time to think so he didn't damage anything more than he already had. He couldn't let this break. If it broke he knew there would be no careful building up of the relationship unlike after... that.

He realized he was running, because while he couldn't read the atmosphere he could read himself all too well.

What would Arthur think if he knew? Knowing his boyfriend though he already had figured out Alfred was retreating. He just probably hadn't figured out why.

Or maybe he had.

God that was scary. That was too scary. That was worse then any horror movie.

He tuned out Gilbert as the two went back to his, Gil's, house.

It wasn't until a few hours later and a more sober state that hell came in form of the 'feelings talk'.

"What's wrong between you and your lover boy?"

For a second he thought of denying any problems, but that was Arthur's thing. Arthur was the one who covered up the cuts caused by all the cracks in their relationship. Alfred couldn't bring himself to care enough to even try and stop the blood from flowing out of them.

"We got into a fight. I was talking about how I felt he wasn't being honest and open with me about our relationship. It's no secret that I accidentally hurt him a lot… but he won't even talk with me about it! And next thing I know he's yelling at me and telling me how wrong I am. Well that was too much for me. I called him a liar and left. After that he didn't talk to me for a while. It killed me."

"God, you guys really should get some counseling."

"No, it would just make things worse. So now I'm thinking over things, I told him as much. Truth is I'm running away from the problems because it all sucks so much. I think he knows and it's bothering him."

Gilbert tried to comfort him but Alfred knew it was in vain. The James Bond movies didn't work, the beer didn't work, and eventually Gilbert just said they should both get to bed.

Alfred couldn't agree more.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **So here's Alfred's side! I'll go back to Arthur's next chapter which should be uploaded in roughly a week.

What do you think?


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Bet you know where this is going but... I claim no ownership of Hetalia. None.

* * *

><p>The next day the two had arranged a meeting, and as they sat at the café table outside the local coffee shop Arthur couldn't help but feel nervous.<p>

He felt as if somebody was watching him, which was stupid because it was only Alfred, himself, and the occasional passerby.

"Al?"

"Yeah?"

There was an awkward pause in which Arthur tried to figure out what exactly he even wanted to say. What could he say?

It wasn't like anything he did was going to make Alfred forgive him for being a huge idiot.

"Do… do you love me?"

There was a long silence as Alfred seemed to think of-

He had to think if he loved him? Yep, this meeting was going to end with him being dumped. Nobody had to think if they loved their boyfriend.

"I don't want to talk about that right now. I'm still thinking about everything."

So basically that's a huge no to the loving thing.

"Then why are we here? What's the point if we can't talk about us? Alfred we have to talk about it. I need answers, I need to know. The longer you drag it out the more painful it will be."

"I don't know why we're here. You arranged this; I just went along with it. I… I thought you might actually open up to me."

"Open up to you? You're the one who isn't even open enough to tell me such a simple thing as whether or not you even love me anymore! God, you're such an idiot!" Crap. He had messed up again. Now he was definitely going to remain Alfred's boyfriend for long. Any minute now Alfred would just stand up and leave him, this time forever.

Accept he didn't. What he did was so much worse.

He just gave this small smile and remained silent the rest of the time they spent.

And after the bill was paid and they were leaving Arthur just kept kicking himself over and over again for screwing up so much.

"If you love me, please let me know," he whispered so softly Alfred probably hadn't heard him.

The only answer he got was Alfred's retreating footsteps.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Next up is Alfred's POV again!

Fun fact: I didn't really like this chapter. What did you think?


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I claim no ownership of Hetalia.

* * *

><p>When he awoke he had slipped out of Gil's house and off the café which had been, well it had been a mess.<p>

He'd said nothing at all; he'd said all the wrong things.

He'd screwed up.

And why? All because he was grabbing on to anything to help him clear his head. Something Arthur would say that would just suddenly make all the mistakes of the last few months go away.

But it was stupid to wait for that because for Arthur to say such a thing that would mean Arthur would have to stop relying on that 'stiff upper lip' of his. He'd have to admit to the pain Alfred caused. Arthur would have to change.

And these past few months showed how painfully stupid it was to wait for another to change.

But what else could he do? That's why he needed to think. He needed to stop running away.

Or maybe… maybe he had to stop running away half-heartedly.

Maybe, just maybe, he had to embrace the escape.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I know this was short but next week we'll hear even more from America to make up for it.

Until then care to leave a comment? If you have any ideas for this story, any of my other stories, or just a story in general I may very well consider it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Guess who doesn't own Hetalia?

* * *

><p>Apparently it's easier said then done to totally forget about the love of your life.<p>

Who knew?

Every time he tried to forget his boyfriend-whether it was through work, drinking, or friends-he just ended up with a million more thoughts like 'Oh Artie would be so jealous if he found out that Gil invited ladies here!' or 'I don't get this… I wonder if Arthur would be able to help me after work…' any and all of which ended with him being harshly brought back to reality.

It had gotten so bad that every time he closed his eyes he would see his boyfriend smiling, laughing, crying, yelling, and a million more expressions Alfred had long ago carefully memorized.

God he was an idiot for setting himself up.

After a stressful day at work or a fight with friends he would come home and he swore he could almost hear Arthur muttering some soothing words into his ear just to make his day a little brighter.

Then he'd turn around and find himself painfully alone.

He realized he might very well be going insane.

That realization hurt worse then any cut caused by the ever growing cracks in his relationship.

And yet he stuck with it.

After a while he started to get used to it. He even started to enjoy it.

It was almost like a dream, an addictive one as well.

He didn't want to wake up anymore.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** So usually I would wait until the weekend and then I'd post two chapters.

However I have some finals to study for so I won't be able to write much.

Therefor I figured I'd upload this chapter and then see you all in a little over a week!


End file.
